1) REMEMBER THAT HEALING A BROKEN HEART IS A PROCESS: Getting over a break up is a painful process and getting angry, frustrated and confused is all part of that process. So is crying, feeling sad, and having trouble sleeping. You may even find yourself having dreams about your ex and losing interest in activities that would normally excite you. If any of this has been happening to you, rest assured that everything is fine. In fact, all of these things are perfectly normal after a break up. Yes, even dreaming about your ex. This is simply your unconscious mind trying to process the loss and work through it on its own.
2) REALIZE THAT NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE MEANT TO LAST: Most relationships end and the majority of people who date are bound to break up. I know that may sound like a very negative and cynical view of relationships but that’s just the reality of life. Just look around you, I surely don’t need to tell you how high the divorce rate is. Once you accept that throughout your life you’ll be in a few relationships that don’t work out, you can stop blaming yourself for what you might see as a “FAILURE.” What often write off as a “FAILED RELATIONSHIP” is actually a valuable life lesson if we stop to actually reflect on the relationship and learn from it.
3) REFLECT ON THE RELATIONSHIP AND LEARN FROM IT: As we date around, we learn more about ourselves and how we interact with others. But even more importantly, we get a better sense of what we really want in a relationship and what we’re absolutely not willing to tolerate. So rather than writing this off as just another failed relationship, reflect on what happened and learn from it. Charles Jones said, “Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.”
4. REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE WITHOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP: Relationships have a way of affecting us on a very deep level, especially when we really love someone. In fact, sometimes they can even make us lose a part of ourselves. Well now’s the time to remember who you are again. Start by making a list of the things you want to accomplish in life to remind yourself of where you want to go. What interests do you have that you have ignored for a long time? What things have you not done for yourself that you would like to do again? Getting to know you and what you want for your future is crucial to getting over a breakup or divorce.
5. USE THIS TIME TO CREATE THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS: Once you start working towards your dreams again, you may realize how much you’ve lost by being in a codependent relationship. You’ve probably forgotten how much you like making music, playing sports, or working out. If you’ve lost your job because of your relationship or your hours have gotten cut back, consider starting fresh and finding a career that truly inspires and fulfills you.
Find what truly makes you happy and do what you love. That way, you can still be happy with yourself even if one particular relationship doesn’t work out.
Nothing should have the power to take over your life. Rediscover your inner strength and build yourself back up stronger than ever so that you never find yourself feeling so weak and helpless ever again.
Even though everyone’s journey of getting over a break up is different, these 5 steps should be at the cornerstone of every break up recovery plan. Be sure to also read “HOW TO LOVE AGAIN WHEN YOUR HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN”.
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