10 WAYS TO BUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP. Twitter @AndyQwas & Bb Pin @ 2326600E

If you are looking for ways to improve your relationship, then you may want to start here. I am going to show you 10 ways to building trust in a relationship. Usually, we think to improve a relationship, we must always make things exciting to keep the romance going. Well, that would be wrong. And the last thing you would think that does improve the level of trust in a relationship is… predictability!

1. BE PREDICTABLE. Let your word and actions match. It’s an error to let your actions violate what you said. Be CONSISTENT and RELIABLE.

2. SHARE PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF. Relationships need to be two-way streets. Why should another person confide in you if you will not share personal information about yourself? If you want to build trust in a relationship, then you need to become vulnerable yourself.

3. DON’T LIE. Don’t keep secrets from your partner. Once your partner finds out about something you are keeping a secret (and believe me they will), you better believe they won’t be able to trust you anymore. And why keep secrets from your partner anyway?

4. YOUR PARTNER ISN’T A MIND READER. Tell your partner what you want! Stop expecting your partner to know what’s on your mind when you have refused to talk. Being reluctant to communicate your needs to your partner will just worry them needlessly.

5. BE TRUSTWORTHY IN THE LITTLE THINGS. The other person needs to be able to trust you in the little things before he is going to trust you with the big things. If a person cannot trust you to show up on time or remember to do something that you promised to do, why should she trust you with something more important?

6. KEEP THE OTHER PERSON'S CONFIDENCE. What a person tells you in a relationship needs to stay in that relationship. If you are a gossip, then you are going to have a hard time building trust.

7. DO THINGS THAT ARE IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE OTHER PERSON. If you want to build trust, you need to make choices that are beneficial to the other person and the relationship. Learn to put their needs ahead of yours. That’s what being selfless is all about in a relationship.

8. SPEND TIME WITH THE OTHER PERSON. In this era of text messaging and email, it can be easy to spend very little time with the people you love. If you want to build trust in a relationship, you need to spend time together. There is no replacement for spending face-to-face time on a regular basis.

9. BE WILLING TO SAY “NO.” Suppose your partner communicates a need that you don’t want to give, it is OK to say no. On the other hand, it is OK for your partner to ask. Your partner will respect you more if you don’t say yes to everything they demand of you. Being a separate person helps build trust in a relationship.

10. APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE. Nothing shatters trust faster than hurting the other person and then refusing to take responsibility for a bad choice. Be willing to say "I'm sorry" when you make a bad choice that hurts the other person.

In summary, building trust in relationship does take some work. And sometimes you will stumble, but continue to move forward. I have given you  10 WAYS TO BUILDING TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP you can use right now to strengthen your relationship and make it as strong as a 1,000 year old Oak tree.

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THE 4 RELATIONSHIPS YOU MUST AVOID LIKE HELL. Twitter @AndyQwas & Bb Pin @ 2326600E

Looking for love with the wrong people can lead to unnecessary heartbreak and unexpected headaches, such as losing your job, your house, your family, friends, good reputation and self-respect. No matter how you look at it, some fantasies should never be fulfilled if you want to keep your life and sanity intact. Here are the 4 most dangerous liaisons. If your new crush falls under one of these categories, run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.

1.` THE EX FACTOR. People forget the part of the relationship that did not work for them and tell themselves `it's going to work this time around. But those who chase failed past relationships are gluttons for punishment. My question to you is, “WHY DO PEOPLE RETURN TO PAST RELATIONSHIP? Here are 5 reasons. One reason why it takes so long for people to break free of past relationships because they don't take their heart with them when they leave, and the basic nature of most people is to return to the place where they left their heart. "WHEN YOU TERMINATE A RELATIONSHIP YOU MUST RELEASE YOURSELF AND TAKE YOUR HEART WITH YOU. SEVER ALL TIES AND MOVE ON. Next is Love. The 3rd is loneliness. Some people become so accustomed to being with the ex that they feel inadequate without them. The 4th is guilt (people feel the need to make amends) or they are determined to change their ex-partner's bad behavior. The last is SOUL TIE: Read the article on “SOUL TIES and HOW TO BREAK THEM now. Whatever the reason for backtracking, in the end, nothing good comes out of MOST past relationships, and it's best to move on. It's not a wise decision to recycle relationships because the same problem that led to the breakup may continue to persist. This is one relationship you must avoid at all costs.

2. THE LEFT-OVER LOVER. Maybe it's not your ex who has been turning your head lately--maybe you have your eyes on your best friend's ex-girlfriend. This is definitely one fantasy that is better left alone. To have a relationship with your brother's or friend's ex is a no-no because, in the process, you may sever relationships with the people who are most important. Family and friends are hidden treasures. One of the consequences of this is that friends and family may perceive you as untrustworthy. If you are given consent to date someone else's ex, the new union could feel strained, and may not blossom into a serious, committed relationship. Even if the former lover and the good friend forgives or forgets, the person who's pursuing or dating the ex will somehow feel that [he or she] shouldn't be, and it puts a barrier in the relationship. It’s not a clean basis for a lifelong commitment because there is too much guilt involved. This is the 2nd relationship you must avoid at all costs.

3. DATING THE BOSS. There's good reason as to why MAMA warned you NEVER to get your honey where you make your money. A failed office romance can cost you your reputation, a promotion, or even your job. If you date a married co-worker or boss, things can get especially nasty at work. In most organizations, a high degree of professionalism and discretion is expected of the staff, and one doesn't get that kind of respect if there's an affair going on. Being the subject of gossip is a heavy burden to bear, but dating and dumping a boss is a totally different beast. A dumped boss can have the ex demoted, or downsized, and a spumed subordinate can wage a sexual harassment suit against the boss and the entire company. Because of this, many companies document, regulate, or to some extent, prohibit on-the-job affairs. It's true that some serious-minded men find their future spouses on the job and live happily ever after but never mix business with pleasure. Only when you've been played do you realize what a mistake it is to mix business with pleasure

4. LOVING THY NEIGHBOR. Dating a neighbor could be problematic, but it also might lead to true love, depending on the couple's chemistry and the maturity level of the persons involved. If you find some great guy who moves in NEXT DOOR and he looks good and you start to meet each other and talk, go for it. But if things go downhill, be prepared to suffer the consequences. You'll suffer a lack of privacy, because that person is in a position to know who's coming and going or if someone stays overnight. Stalking you would be easy. And if it was a particularly nasty breakup, you'll find yourself keeping odd hours so that you don't run into each other.

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OVERCOMING SEXUAL DECEPTION. (Ladies only). Bb pin 2326600E. Twitter @ AndyQwas

1. Sex is NOT love. Love is not sex.

2. You can have sex and not be in love. You can be in love and not engage in sex.

3.  A man may hate you and still have sex with you. Be wise.

4. Using sex to manipulate a man will eventually fail.

5. It is self deception to think that giving him sex will make him love you.

6. True Love will never force you to engage in sex.

7. A man who doesn’t love you will not change his mind because of sex.

8. If he tells you to ‘prove your love’ by having sex with him. He is only using you.

9. If he is in it for the sex, ‘better sex’ will take him away from you.

10. Making yourself his ‘sex slave’ is foolish. Love will never shame or degrade you.

If you have made the mistake of trying to use sex to buy this man, now is the time to re-assess your relationship and build it on the right foundation. If he gets married to you because ‘the sex is good’, it will be fatal to your marriage. Let him get married to you because he loves you, honors you, feels a strong emotional, mental and spiritual connection with you and wants you to spend the rest of his life with you.

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SOUL TIES AND HOW TO BREAK THEM. Bb pin 2326600E. Twitter @AndyQwas

                                                             WHAT IS A SOUL TIE?
A soul tie is two souls tied together by the content in their spirit. It means they now freely share what they each carry. Assuming someone carried madness, generational curse, lesbianism as content, these will be fully exchange when the 2 souls are tied.

A soul-tie is a connection of the heart. There are good soul-ties and bad soul-ties. There are soul-ties that produce life in us, and there are soul-ties that produce death in us. God wants us to break the soul-ties that produce death.


                                                  DANGERS OF SOUL TIE

1. INABILITY TO RECEIVE: It hinders your ability to receive. In other words, the affection that is being given to you does not appear to reach your heart.

2. INABLITY TO GIVE: The capacity in which you can give is limited. Even though you give with all our heart, you have only a portion to give. You can only give what’s yours to give. A fragmented soul cannot give itself fully in a relationship until it’s healed.

3. REDUCED: Assuming you were a 100 before you had sex with someone, you can never be a 100 after the sexual experience because a part of you will always be tied and left with that person. What may remain might be 90. And the more the multiple partners, the more you have your souls tied up with different persons. Sex is not what you do and walk away from. It ties you to a person’s past, present and future till it’s broken.

4. ONENESS: When you have a soul tie with someone, you are no longer identified as an individual in the spirit realm. You become a partaker of all that the person has been and will be until broken. You actually became 2, a plural.

5. SPIRITUAL PULL: A Soul ties creates a magnetic pull. That why someone can be in an abusive relationship and be suffering but can’t walk away. A soul tie can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man whom in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn't love her, and treats her like dirt.

6. BRIDGE: In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through. I helped a young man not too long ago break free from downright awful visitations from demons, all due to an ungodly soul tie he had with a witch. The man was a Christian, and the only thing that allowed her to send demonic torment his way, is through the soul tie. Soul ties can allow one person to manipulate and control another person.

                                         
                                             HOW SOUL TIES ARE FORMED

WILLING OR FORCED SEXUAL RELATIONS: When a person has ungodly sexual relations with another person, an ungodly soul tie is formed (1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh."). This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. People who have many past relationships find it very difficult to 'bond' or be joined to anybody, because their soul is fragmented.

VOWS, COMMITMENTS AND AGREEMENTS: Vows are known to bind the soul (Numbers 30:2), marriage itself consists of vows and binds the two people together (Ephesians 5:31). By speaking words of commitment such as “I will always love you,” “I will never forget,” “I will always hate you,” can create a soul tie.

BY RECEIVING A RING OR ITEM FROM SOMEONE THAT REPRESENTS A COVENANT AGREEMENT. And what I consider to be the most devious method of all is when you are given an item from a friend or relative that has great sentimental value but is, literally, death. Such items may have been used in witchcraft or the occult. Eg, rings, hair weavons, necklace, shoes, etc


                                              HOW TO BREAK A SOUL TIE

1. IF ANY SINS WERE COMMITTED to cause this soul tie, repent of them! Fornication is perhaps one of the most common ways to create nasty soul ties.

2. IF GIFTS WERE GIVEN TO YOU by the other person in connection with the sin or unholy relationship, such as rings, flowers, cards, bras, etc, get rid of them now. during an adultery should be destroyed.

3. ANY RASH VOWS OR COMMITMENTS made that played a part in forming the soul tie should be renounced and repented of, and broken in Jesus' name. Even things like "I will love you forever", or "I could never love another man!" need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be undone verbally. As Proverbs 21:23 tells us, "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." The tongue has the ability to bring the soul great troubles and bondage.

4. FORGIVE that person if you have anything against them.

5. RENOUNCE THE SOUL TIE. Do this verbally, and in Jesus' name. Example, "In Jesus' name, I now renounce any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and ______ as a result of _______________ (fornication, etc.)."

6. BREAK THE SOUL TIE IN JESUS' NAME! Do this verbally using your authority in Jesus. Example, "I now break and sever any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and _________ as a result of ______________ (fornication, etc.) in Jesus' name."But first, you must give your life to Jesus Christ. Why not first do this now.

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HOW TO LOVE AGAIN WHEN YOUR HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

If you have experienced a broken heart many times in the past, you may have sworn off love forever. You may think you are protecting yourself, but think of the opportunities you are missing. There may be a wonderful person out there who will bring joy into your life, but you will never know because you have locked up your heart. Don't let your pain and hurt stop you from having a happy and fulfilling future. You owe it to yourself to get over the hurt and allow love back into your life.

1: TALK ABOUT IT. Bouncing from one relationship to another will not work if you truly want to find love again. Speak to friends and family members about your hurt. You do not want to begin a new relationship for the wrong reasons, such as loneliness or sadness. You can't have a new and healthy relationship if you are still holding onto the past.

2: FOCUS ON YOUR POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD. You may feel like a failure because you've been hurt so many times before, and you may even blame yourself for the problems in your past relationships. It's time to put a stop to these negative thoughts. You need to see things clearly and stop being hard on yourself. Take your time and think about what you bring to a relationship, such as loyalty or unconditional love. Make a list of your positive qualities. Ask a friend for suggestions. Friends are wonderful because they will see qualities in you that you may not see. Refer to this list of your good qualities when you are feeling down.

3: EXAMINE YOUR WEAKNESSES AND HOW THEY MAY HAVE AFFECTED YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS. Think of solutions to help you overcome negative behaviors, so that you do not repeat the same mistakes in the future. For instance, perhaps you were too clingy or jealous, and the distrust caused a rift in your relationships. Resolve to speak with a new partner about your jealousy issues. Think of things that may keep jealousy at bay in future relationships, such as asking a new partner to call you if he or she will be late. Resolve to get past your weaknesses to build a stronger relationship in the future.

4: FORGIVE THE PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU. You can't move forward in life if you hold onto past hurts. Therefore, you must let the pain go. If you bring old pain or anger into a new relationship, you will doom it.

5: UNDERSTAND THAT LOVING AGAIN MEANS OPENING YOURSELF UP. You need to come to this realization before you can love again. You must accept that the act of loving causes vulnerability, and you can't control everything that happens in life. Give yourself permission to love and feel again. Be sure to also read “HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART”.

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HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

1) REMEMBER THAT HEALING A BROKEN HEART IS A PROCESS: Getting over a break up is a painful process and getting angry, frustrated and confused is all part of that process. So is crying, feeling sad, and having trouble sleeping. You may even find yourself having dreams about your ex and losing interest in activities that would normally excite you.  If any of this has been happening to you, rest assured that everything is fine. In fact, all of these things are perfectly normal after a break up. Yes, even dreaming about your ex. This is simply your unconscious mind trying to process the loss and work through it on its own.

2) REALIZE THAT NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE MEANT TO LAST: Most relationships end and the majority of people who date are bound to break up. I know that may sound like a very negative and cynical view of relationships but that’s just the reality of life. Just look around you, I surely don’t need to tell you how high the divorce rate is. Once you accept that throughout your life you’ll be in a few relationships that don’t work out, you can stop blaming yourself for what you might see as a “FAILURE.” What often write off as a “FAILED RELATIONSHIP” is actually a valuable life lesson if we stop to actually reflect on the relationship and learn from it.

3) REFLECT ON THE RELATIONSHIP AND LEARN FROM IT: As we date around, we learn more about ourselves and how we interact with others. But even more importantly, we get a better sense of what we really want in a relationship and what we’re absolutely not willing to tolerate. So rather than writing this off as just another failed relationship, reflect on what happened and learn from it. Charles Jones said, “Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.”

4. REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE WITHOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP: Relationships have a way of affecting us on a very deep level, especially when we really love someone. In fact, sometimes they can even make us lose a part of ourselves. Well now’s the time to remember who you are again. Start by making a list of the things you want to accomplish in life to remind yourself of where you want to go. What interests do you have that you have ignored for a long time? What things have you not done for yourself that you would like to do again? Getting to know you and what you want for your future is crucial to getting over a breakup or divorce.

5. USE THIS TIME TO CREATE THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS: Once you start working towards your dreams again, you may realize how much you’ve lost by being in a codependent relationship. You’ve probably forgotten how much you like making music, playing sports, or working out. If you’ve lost your job because of your relationship or your hours have gotten cut back, consider starting fresh and finding a career that truly inspires and fulfills you.
Find what truly makes you happy and do what you love. That way, you can still be happy with yourself even if one particular relationship doesn’t work out.

Nothing should have the power to take over your life. Rediscover your inner strength and build yourself back up stronger than ever so that you never find yourself feeling so weak and helpless ever again.

Even though everyone’s journey of getting over a break up is different, these 5 steps should be at the cornerstone of every break up recovery plan. Be sure to also read “HOW TO LOVE AGAIN WHEN YOUR HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN”.

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HOW TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

Once you’ve decided that parting ways is the best solution, doing the actual break up can be pretty nerve racking, since people’s hearts are on the line. Here is a series of steps to help you through it and suggestions of ways to reduce pain caused to the other person.

1. CLARITY: Make sure you understand why you are doing it. Sometimes the surface reason isn’t the real reason. Dig deep within yourself to find the real reason. Being surrounded by the situation can cloud your judgment. Separate yourself from the situation and spend some alone time. This will help you gain the clarity you need.

2. SELF HONESTY: Make the commitment to be honest with yourself and the other person. The truth will set you free. Be committed to that.

3. SETUP MEETING TIME: Setup mutual time to talk to your partner as soon as possible. Some people are opposed to phone breakups. I think that face-to-face is always best, but if distance separates you, it’s best to do so as soon as possible rather than waiting.

4. STATE OF COMPASSION: Before your meeting, get into a state of compassion for the other person. In a state of compassion, you will exude love and understanding, which you’ll need to help the other person heal.

5. THE MEETING: During the meeting, focus on communicating your reasons clearly and respectfully for the sake of the other person. Here are some additional pointers for when explaining yourself during the meeting:
When explaining, focus on how things made you feel, this way your partner doesn’t get defensive. Make it clear that the situation is not their fault, since blaming doesn’t add value in helping the situation.
Talk about things you’ve learned from the relationship and what you are grateful for.
Be Genuine in everything that you say. If you don’t mean something, don’t say it. People can detect when you are not being authentic.

6. BE THERE: Your partner will get emotional and possibly very upset. They will bounce between different emotional states. Your job is to be there for them. Become the observer of the situation. Stay conscious, calm and alert.

7. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: When we are emotional and feeling hurt, we can easily become irrational and say things we don’t mean. Don’t be surprised if your partner acts like a small child and says unreasonable or mean things to you. They don’t mean it. They are simply hurt and need attention from you. Don’t take anything personally. Become the observer so you don’t get attached to what’s being said and react defensively.

8. LOVE THEM: Love them regardless of the situation. They are human and have feelings. Remember you can love people without needing to be in a romantic relationship with them. Be there for them in that state of love and compassion, regardless of how they react. This will help you find your center, while remaining calm to best help the other person deal with the situation.

9. FULLY EXPRESS EMOTIONS: If you feel like crying, do it, and do it fully. This will release the emotional clutter in your inner space.

10. MULTIPLE MEETINGS: it really takes several days before news can sink in. Don’t expect to meet once and be done with it. It is your responsibility to be there for that person, at least initially during a breakup situation.

11. BE AVAILABLE: Do whatever is necessary to help them heal without compromising your values. Be available for them when they need you.

12. SPACE: Give them space. They will be hurt no matter what, so even if they appear fine on the outside, they are hurting. What they need now is time. Check up on them a few times in the beginning to make sure they are okay and to let them know that they matter. Remind them that you are here if they need your help to heal.

13. RELINQUISH GUILT: You may experience guilt, since you are the one initiating the breakup. You see that you’ve caused pain and this may affect your state of being. The following are some ideas that help to let go of this feeling:
Meditation
Deep Breathing
Alone Time
Exercise to Release Energy. Thanks for reading.

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HOW TO KNOW IF BOTH OF YOU HAVE A FUTURE TOGETHER Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

1. WHEN BOTH OF YOU MEET AND TALK
A. You don't look anywhere else except each other.
B. You share a decent eye contact, except for a few glances here and there.
C. Your partner seems to notice everything else, except you.
ANSWER: A is good.....B is 40%.....C is trouble

2. YOU ARE STUCK IN A SERIOUS TROUBLE, AND YOU CALL YOUR LOVE TO SHARE YOUR WORRIES.
A. He/She rushes to be with you immediately and treats your problem as his/her own.
B. He/She listens to you, and suggests you ways to solve your problem.
C. He/She tells you to call after some time, as he/she is busy right now.
ANSWER: A is good…..B is 40%....C is trouble

3. HOW COMFORTABLE IS YOUR PARTNER WITH YOUR FAMILY?
A. Is like a part of your family. In fact, your family has invited your partner to dinner more than you have
B. Your partner maintains a fair amount of contact with your family.
C. You are still to set up a meeting between them.
ANSWER: A is good.....B is 40%.....C is trouble

4. WHEN BOTH OF YOU ARE AWAY FROM EACH OTHER DUE TO WORK OR ANY REASON FOR A MONTH,
A. You maintain constant contact daily via phone and email.
B. Call each other once in 2-3 days for a good talk.
C. Call once or twice during the entire period.
ANSWER: A…….B is 40%…….C is trouble

5. WHEN THE TOPIC OF MARRIAGE CROPS UP
 A. Both of you start finalizing your guest list.
B. You talk about it with enthusiasm. Your partner doesn’t.
C. You or your partner changes the topic.
ANSWER: A is good.....B is trouble%.....C is trouble

6. WHEN BOTH OF YOU CHECKED YOUR MEDICAL REPORT
A. Both of you are AA.
B. One partner is AA and the other AS
C. Both of you are AS
D. One partner tested HIV and the negative.
ANSWER: A excellent……B is 80%......C is trouble…….D is Fire

7. WHEN BOTH OF YOU CHECKED YOUR SPIRITUAL COMPATIBILITY
A. Both of you belong to the same religion and believe the same thing
B. Both of you belong to different religion and believe different things
C. Both of you are not religious and share the same opinion
ANSWER: A……B is trouble…….C is good…

Note: If you are a Christian, marry a Christian. If you are a Muslim, marry a Muslim. If you are a non church person, marry a non church person. That is how it works. There must be likeness.


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THIS THING CALLED LOVE Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

A poet once wrote, “To Love is to live, and to live is to love.” That may be true, but what does it mean? The poet never defined his terms. Now the question I want to ask you now is…WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE?

A man called into my Radio program, “Sweet Moment with De Love Guru” and here was the story he shared with us all. You will be moved .

My name is Adams and my wife is Yaa. My wife developed a chronic brain syndrome called cerebral arteriosclerosis. Before she had the disease, she was a very pretty, vivacious lady. When her sickness started, she would experience intermittent times of confusion. For instance, she would drive to Accra, and then find herself at an intersection without knowing where she was or why or how to get back home. My wife is a school teacher who enjoys driving herself but when her condition started, I was forced to take her car keys away for her own safety.

As the disease progressed, she gradually lost all her mental faculties and did not even recognize me her own husband. But all through this time, I took care of her at home by my own self for the first five years. During that time, I often took her for visits and would always have her looking her prettiest although she had no idea of where she was. I often and proudly introduce her as my wife to everyone, even though her remarks were inappropriate to the conversation. But i never made an apology for her; I never indicated that there was anything wrong with what she had just said. I showered her with love and attention no matter what she said or did.

The time came when the doctors said she had to go into a nursing home for intensive care. She lived there for 10years (part of that time bedfast with arthritis) and I was daily with her. As long as she was able to sit up, I took her for a drive each afternoon – out for a sight see, or downtown, or to visit the family – never in anyway embarrassed that she was so far out of touch. I never made a negative comment about her. I did not begrudge the large amount of money required to keep her in the home all those years, never even  hinted that it might be a problem. In fact, I never complained about any detail of her care throughout the long illness. I always obtained the best for her and did the best for her.
I was loyal, always true to my wife, even though my love had no response for fifteen years. Today she is well and I often cry because I went through a lot for those fifteen years.

People see me and have asked me how I was able to stay true to my wife for those 15years tough years of our marriage. My reply is what I still tell you now….IT WAS AGAPE….The love of God in my heart. And people have also asked, “HOW DO I GET THIS KIND OF LOVE? My reply is still the same, “The Bible said for the Love of God is shared abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit of God. The key word I leave with people is….WHEN YOU ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART, The Holy Spirit put’s this Love in there but many Christians do not know how to unleash this Love from their heart. And they ask the 3rd question, “What exactly is AGAPE? See what I tell them:

1. Agape love means action, not just words that are spoken.

2. Agape love means  involvement , not a comfortable detachment from the needs of others

3. Agape love means unconditionally loving the unlovable, the undeserving and unresponsive.

4. Agape means commitment to the object of one’s love.

5. Agape love means constructive, purposeful giving based not on blind sentimentality but on knowledge of what is best for the beloved

6. Agape love means consistency of behavior showing an ever – present concern for the your partner’s highest good

7. Agape love is the chief means and the best way of blessing your partner and your marriage.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT? THE ONLY CURE FOR ANY TROUBLED MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP IS AGAPE.

This is my story. Thanks so much Andy for what God is using you to do in this country. Anyone can quite a marriage because you feel it’s not working. But how many people can stick like I stuck for 15years from an unresponsive wife?

FINAL NOTE: Jesus was the greatest expression of love that ever came into the world, but it is never recorded that he ever said the words, "I love you!" Why? Because 95 percent of all love is non-verbal. Jesus did not love with just words but in deed and truth (1 Jn. 3:18). If your actions contradict your words, what are people going to believe, your words or your actions? Your actions of course. Vine's Expository Dictionary states, "Love can be known only from the actions it prompts".  Please share this post. You will save a relationship if you do.

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12 TYPES OF MEN WOMEN HATE TO DATE. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb pin 2326600E.

1. MR. SLOTHFUL: Mr. Slothful is a man without a drive, laid back, lazy. Mr. slothful hate work and would rather have fun and sleep instead of sitting to burn the midnight oil in order to build a future. Women don’t like sloths men.

2. MR. SHADOW MAN: Mr. Shadow is too needy, clingy and following her every move. He never leaves her side and always stands really close to her. Mr. Shadow is over possessive and too jealous. Guys, don't Be a Shadow.

3. MR. GIRLY MAN: Mr. Girly man is a mama’s boy. He is a mindless man. Any woman knows she can walk all over a “girly man”. Real men like to play rough, they protect their territory. They stand up for themselves. They have a mind of their own. They don't give away their power to a woman just because they like her.

4. MR. UNROMANTIC: Mr. Unromantic may have the looks, the clothes, the car and even the job and money but that's all he has. He is romantically dry. Women loves romantic guys

5. MR. SEXUAL ADOLESCENT: Mr. Sexual Adolescent see’s women as sex objects and suppliers of sex. Their interactions with women have only one goal - "Give me sex in exchange for  any other thing you want”. And when their sexual needs are not met, they react with the emotional tendencies like sulking, withdrawal, violence, manipulation, nagging, neediness, clinginess, abandonement, etc. which turns the women off.

6. MR. LACK OF CONFIDENT MAN: Mr. Lack of self confidence may love a woman and may be fascinated by her but he is highly intimidated by her and feels very awkward in his one-on-one interactions with her. In fact he is so afraid of women that they have talked themselves into believing that all the women they meet will be hostile to them, and so you don't even try to approach them.

7. Mr. VILLAGE CLOWN: Women want a man who can be respected by their friends and family. He is not a modern man. He is an old fashion man, dresses poorly, dirty, smelling mouth, smelling armpit. Women like neat, sharp looking, current and modern guys like me...lolzzz

8. MR. STINGY: Mr. stingy does not share. He would rather eat alone. When Mr. stingy dates a woman, the hardest part of his relationship is to share whatever it is he has. Women, if a man does not need to have before he shares. Giving is an attitude and it starts with the little things…., recharge cards, Valentine gift, Christmas gifts.

9.  THE NAÏVE ROMANTIC: You have this jaded idealized perception of women that is a result of limited personal experience and self-imposed ignorance. You are constantly on the look out for that “perfect" woman or throwing yourself at women who are obviously not into you or presenting some kind of idealized version of you that you think will meet her notion of “ideal" man -and no one is buying. For some reason most women prefer men with a more realistic perception and a little bit more experience with the opposite sex – and they can tell within the first few seconds of meeting you.

10. THE NEED-TO-KNOW ADDICT: You are constantly trying to find out what women want, why women do this, why they react like this, why they say this and why they do that. You are so obsessed with trying to figure out women that if there was a door marked “Hot Women" and a door marked “Lecture About Hot Women" you’d line up for the lecture. And even when you meet women instead of engaging them and having a real conversation you start asking them “What do women really want?", “Why women like bad boys?" or “why do women shave their legs?". Women look at you like “do I look like a dating coach to you?"

11. THE SUPERFICIAL AIR- HEAD: You are obsessed with the physical and phony aspects of a woman and reject potential relationships with good women for sadly shallow reasons like not big enough boobs, not bootilicious enough, not long enough legs or hair etc. You move from big boobs to bigger boob or smaller butt to a bigger one with no reasonable and meaningful emotional connection with the women you meet or have a relationship with.Connect with women from within. That's how it should be.

12. THE UNROMANTIC INVISIBLE-MAN: You may have the looks, the clothes, the car and even the job and money but that’s it - no sexual vibes coming from you. You are so dry and very unromantic. You are just not there – nonexistent when it comes to being romantic. Wemen love the romantically available guy. Be one.

13. THE WET BLANKET: You see yourself as a professional, business person, a politician, an activist, a teacher, a doctor, a parent, etc., but not as a sexual professional, sexual politician, sexual doctor, or even a sexual parent. You are so paralyzed internally by the pervasive anxiety of putting the “right" front that your interactions with women are like boardroom meetings they’d rather avoid. Your “businesslike" personality comes across as uptight and not much fun to be around. Learn to be like me, the guy who is fun to be with....Lolzzz!


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THE 5 BASIC NEEDS OF A MEN AND WOMEN. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb pin 2326600E

If a woman is not happy in a relationship, its because one or more of her BASIC NEEDS are not being met and its the same for the man. Needs are Basic requirments without which a thing or a person cannot function. Compare it to the fuel/oil and a car, air and man, e.t.c. Your relationship can become like the Honey in the Honey comb if you can LEARN each other's Basic needs:
All men have 5 Basic Needs and all Women have 7 Basic Needs. Now Lets Talk.

HIS 5 BASIC NEEDS

1. HE NEEDS ADMIRATION AND RESPECT: The greatest need of a man is RESPECT. Learn to appreciates his value and achievements. Remind him of his capabilities and help him maintain his walk with God. Be proud of him, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man you loves and with whom you chosen to share your life. (Ephesians 22:23,33)

2. HE NEEDS SEXUAL FULFILMENT. Men Love sex. Become an excellent sexual partner to him. Do all you can as a woman to meet this need in your man. (Proverbs 5:15-29, Song of Solomon 4:9-5:1, I Cor 7:1-5, Hebrews 13:4). This is for married couples! Singles, take note.

3. HE NEEDS HOME SUPPORT. He needs a peaceful home and not a judo center. Create an atmosphere of peace, quietness and refuge in your home. Manage the home and take good care of the children. Your home should be a place of rest and rejuvenation. Remember: the wife/mother is the emotional hub of the family. (Proverbs 9:13,19:13, 21:9,19, 25:24)

4. HE NEEDS AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN. Every man Loves an attractive woman. Look good for him. Keep yourself physically fit. Diet and exercise regularly and wear your hair, make-up, and clothes in a way that your husband finds you attractive and tasteful. (Song of Solomon 1:8-10, 2:2, 6:13, 7:9, I Peter 3:1-5)

5. HE NEEDS A COMPANION. Love what he loves. Help him fulfil dream. Support him. Find those activities he enjoys the most and seeks to become proficient in them. If you will not learn to enjoy what he enjoys, you encourage him to consider others that can enjoy it with him.

HER 7 BASIC NEEDS

1. SHE NEEDS A SPIRITUAL LEADER. Become her priest. Take the initiative in cultivating a spiritual environment for the family. Become a capable and competent student of God's Word and live out before all a life founded on the Word of God. Lead your wife in becoming a woman of God and take the lead in training the children in the things of the Lord. (Psalm 1, Ephesians 5:23-27)

2. SHE NEEDS AFFIRMATION AND APPRIECIATION. Praise her for her personal attributes and qualities, her hair, dressing, etc. Extol her virtues as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Openly commend her in the presence of others, as a marvelous mate, friend, lover, and companion. Let her know she is the most important person in your life. (Proverbs 31:28-29, Song of Solomon 4:1-7, 6:4-9, 7:1-9)

3. SHE NEEDS ROMANCE AND AFFECTION. Most men are highly unromantic yet this is one of the Basic need of a woman. Romance is not sex. Being romantic is showering her with timely and generous displays of affection. It is telling her how much you care for her with a steadfast flow of words, cards, flowers, gifts, and common courtesies. Remember: Affection is the environment in which sexual union is enjoyed and a wonderful marriage developed. (Song of Solomon 6:10, 13, Ephesians 5:28-29,33)

4. SHE NEEDS TO TALK INTIMATETLY WITH YOU. Women Love to talk and she needs a listening ear that can feel with her emotionally. Listen to her thoughts (i.e., her heart) about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern. (Song of Solomon 2:8-14, 8:13-14, I Peter 3:7)

5. SHE NEEDS OPENNESS AND HONESTY. Look into her eyes and in love, tells her what you really thinks. She need you to be open and transparent. Stop being shady and hidden. (Proverbs 15:22-23)

6. SHE NEEDS YOU TO PROVIDE FOR HER. Provide for her. You are the man. Work, be responsible. Remember: The husband/father is the security hub of the family (I Timothy 5:8)

7. SHE NEEDS YOU TO BE COMMITTED TO THE FAMILY. She wants you to put your family first. She wants you to commit your time and energy to the spiritual, moral, and intellectual development of the children. For example, pray with them (especially at night by the bedside), read to them, engage in sports with them, and take them on other outings. Don't play the fool's game of working long hours, trying to get ahead while your children and spouse languish in neglect. (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:19-20).

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12 REASONS TO NOT DATE A MARRIED MAN Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

1. HE WON'T COMMIT TO A FUTURE WITH YOU. A man who is in a very unhappy or unsatisfying marriage can feel swept away by how wonderful you make him feel. He may even blurt out, "I've never felt this way before and I can see spending the rest of my life with you." This may sound like a commitment to a future with you. It's not. Don't confuse his loving the way you make him feel with his loving you and making a commitment to you.

2. CHEATING ON HIS WIFE TELLS YOU HOW HE DEALS WITH ANY SITUATION HE DOESN'T LIKE. You are evidence of his inability to avoid dealing with unpleasant situations head on. This means that he's likely to resort to some devious behavior with you if the two of you encounter relationship problems.

3. HIDING IS EXHAUSTING. Having to keep your relationship a secret can attack your self-esteem
and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. Walking together freely and radiantly through the world can fill you with the glow of being with someone who is proud to be with you.

4. HE'S GOT HIS CAKE AND IS EATING IT, TOO. He has a legitimate married relationship that helps his public image and he has an illegitimate one with you to make up for what he's missing in his marriage. Hmmm! What a cheat! As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least. And she is even likely to lose her own world. Gosh! So painful!

5. CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS SO DISRESPECTFUL OF HIS WIFE? The existence of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her that he wants out.

6. LOSE HIS RESPECT AND IT'S OVER. Even though he's the one who pursued you. Even though he's the one that made it difficult to say "No." And even though he tells you how wonderful you are. At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. Like the Groucho Marx joke, "He may not want to be in a relationship that would have him as a partner."

7. YOU'RE NOT A HOME WRECKER, JUST AN ACCOMPLICE. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife -- not to mention grossly disappointing his children and making it difficult for them to see him as a role model.

8. YOU'RE KIDDING YOURSELF. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words.

9. BEWARE THE GUILT BOOMERANG. Many men (and women) have difficulty accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get’s you to take the fall.

10. TIME IS TOO PRECIOUS TO WASTE. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time -- and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing. When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair.

11. GOD COMMANDS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT. This is the heaviest of all the point as far as am concern. God has commanded, ““Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”. Heb 13:4. And 1Sa 2:30 also declares, “but now the LORD saith, Be it far from me; for them that honor me I will honor, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.

12. YOU WILL REAP THE CONSEQUENCE: Like it or not, you will reap what you have sown. Someday, somewhere, someone will also sleep with your own husband. Galatians 6:7 say, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap”. And guess what? You always reap more than you sow and the scriptures cannot be broken.

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12 SIGNS YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

Here is a sample of the opening lines I get from people in excruciating pain, people who have ignored the warning signs of a marriage in trouble.

“My husband left six weeks ago and just sent me an email saying he wants to file for divorce,” a woman said to me recently.

“My wife says she doesn’t love me anymore. I can’t live without her. Please, please help me save my marriage,” a middle-aged executive said to me tearfully.

“I’m still with my husband, but I don’t love him anymore,” a bitter, hardened 40-year old woman told me. “Too many years of pain and anger. I just feel resentful now when I look at him.”

“I’ll do anything to save my marriage,” a 30-year old blue collar worker told me. “I thought it was all about me, but when she left I knew I had lost something incredible. Can you help me?”

Regrets! We all have them. We look back and wonder what could have been. We see the missed opportunities. We feel the remorse of treating our mate badly, of taking him/her for granted. And sometimes we recognize our mistakes too late. Some of you reading this still have time. You still have the opportunity to save their marriage. Couples in crisis have a number of issues in common. Here are some warning signs you must watch out for.

1. THEY EXPERIENCE ONGOING CONFLICT WITHOUT RESOLUTION. No relationship can bear the weight of unresolved conflict. This “baggage” wears you down, even if you’re able to ignore it on a day-to-day basis. Couples need the skills to talk about tough issues and to resolve them.

2. THEY BECOME INSENSITIVE AND DEMANDING OF EACH OTHER. With respect dissolved, couples in crisis begin to treat each other badly. Sarcastic and biting, their language is far short of edifying and encouraging, further eroding marital integrity.

3. THE RELATIONSHIP IS FILLED WITH CRITICISM AND DEROGATORY COMMENTS. They begin to feel contempt for their mate, which erodes the love they once felt. The criticism becomes pervasive as the couple “forgets” the positives that attracted them to their mate.

4. THEY FIND MORE EXCUSES TO SPEND TIME AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. Feeling anger and resentment, couples find reasons to spend time apart. They get involved in other friendships or activities, instead of spending time together.

5. THEY FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE SHARING INTIMATE FEELINGS WITH EACH OTHER. Finding their mate critical and insensitive, they begin withholding intimate feelings and details of their daily life. They fail to provide a “safe place for feelings to land.” This creates further distance.

6. THEY EXPERIENCE LESS AND LESS PHYSICAL INTIMACY. Since intimacy is “into me see”, and this is seen as dangerous, the gulf widens. Couples move apart physically, even to the point of sleeping in separate bedrooms.

7. THEY COMPARE THEIR MATE UNFAVORABLY TO OTHERS. The grass begins to look greener on the other side of the street. Tragically, some begin flirtatious relationships and even affairs as a way to cope with their pain. Others begin to look better than what they have at home.

8. THEY MAKE THREATS ABOUT SEPARATION AND DIVORCE. As the pain increases, many begin to make plans, if only in their minds, to leave their mate. They fantasize what it would be like to live alone.

9.  YOU NO LONGER HAVE ANY COMMON INTERESTS: Remember the early days of marriage, when you tried out so many pursuits together? If you find that you no longer do anything fun or interesting together, consider it as a warning sign on the health of your marriage.

10. YOU NO LONGER SEEM TO HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOUR SPOUSE: You may be living under the same roof with your spouse and performing routine errands, but still have nothing to say to each other. Living in silence is often the first warning sign that all is not right in the relationship.

11. A LACK OF TRUST: You no longer trust each other. Mutual faith is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, including marriage. If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner’s whereabouts, or if your spouse suspects you of infidelity, clearly something is deeply wrong in your marriage.

12. YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO KNOW: A disintegrating marriage is strongly characterized by an increasingly widening communication gap between partners. In such a situation, your partner will stop sharing information about his or her social and professional lives with you. You will find out about your spouse’s achievements at work, or problems with family members, from second or third-hand sources, like your partner’s co-worker or neighbors of your partner’s parental home.

NOTE: If you find yourself with any of these warning signs, take action. Things will never get better on their own. Time alone will not heal your marriage. Stop telling yourself you should be able to fix things; you can’t. Denial (Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying!) won’t help you. You must be honest about the condition of your marriage and take appropriate measures to heal your relationship. You can save your marriage, but not on your own. You need God’s wisdom. You need counselling. Lets talk. Call me now or ping. Lets chat.

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ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH FOR HER? Guys Only. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb pin 2326600E.

1. It is not enough to say ‘I love you.’ You should be able to back up what you say with action. Any fool can say ‘I love you’, but only a real man can back up those words with action.

2. A lady doesn’t need you to tell her you love her, she wants you to show her that you do. What you do is more important than what you say. Spending time with her, talking with her, listening to her, helping her, praying with her is more important than saying those words.

3. Guy, contrary to what they say in the junk magazines, television shows and novels, the mark of a real man is not the ability to have sex with a woman. Any fool can do that. When a woman feels emotionally secure with you, knowing that she’s got a great future with you, that makes you a real man.

4. Asking her to ‘prove’ she loves you by having sex with you is cowardly. Don’t manipulate her for sex. Don’t use her emotional weakness for you to take advantage of her.

5. Guy, are you ready to provide, protect and nurture her? If you can’t provide for her, what on earth are you doing with her? Just so we are clear, ‘nurturing’ does not include having sex with her.

6. Are you man enough to help her manifest her dream? It is easy to drop your pants, but can you devote years of your life, your money, your energy, your resources to making sure that her dream is fulfilled? Are you man enough to help her dream become a reality and not kill it?

7. Are you man enough not to be intimidated by her intelligence, beauty, success and riches? Are you man enough not to compete with her? If she intimidates you, maybe you guys don’t belong together. And don’t try to intimidate her to submit to you when she’s not married to you. If she cannot willingly agree with you on important decisions, don’t waste your time with her.

8. Let’s talk about money. She is NOT supposed to provide for you. That is your responsibility as a man. She’s not your ATM, neither is she your bank. If you need money, go and work for it. Get a job. If that is not enough, get another job. Don’t let her money be the reason why you are with her. If she wants to give you her money, let that be HER own decision, not yours.

9. Are you man enough to tell her the truth? Stop wasting her time with all your lies and crazy stories. If you are not ready to get married to her let her go! Why do you pretend to be what you are not? Why do you lead her on knowing that you will eventually break her heart? That is very wicked of you.

10. ‘I love you’ could be the most meaningless words on the planet if they do nothing to change the marital status of the lady you are with. She wants to get MARRIED to you and not just waste her life hanging out with you. Guy, man up! Take concrete steps towards marriage and prove that you are not a time wasting, jive talking and manipulative man.

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HOW TO MAKE A MAN AN OFFER HE CANT REFUSE. Single Ladies. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

There are several ways to make a man commit totally to you in a relationship. Here are 4 WEAK STRATEGIES LADIES USE on GUYS that has failed to produce result everytime.

1. BEG HIM. This is what happens to a woman with low self esteem. She has no understanding of who she is, what she’s got and what she’s capable of becoming. She begs a man to love her and get married to her. This is weak and pathetic. It is the wrong way to go.

2. BUY HIM. This is when a woman wants to use material and financial power to persuade a man top get married to her. This method always fails.

3. SEDUCE HIM. This is when a woman uses sex to make the man accept her and ask for her hand in marriage. The weakness with this strategy is that sex is a very weak currency. It has no lasting or staying influence on a man’s mind. A man who gets married to you for the sex is on his way out the next best sex he gets.

4. MANIPULATE HIM. This is when a woman comes up with a scheme to lie, deceive and emotionally manipulate a man to make a commitment to her. it usually fails when the man discovers what the lady did. However, you can make him an offer he can’t refuse. How do you do this?

HOW TO MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN’T RESIST.

1. MAKE SURE THAT THE MAN LIKES YOU. If he doesn’t like you, this exercise is a waste of your time. He must first like you.

2. FIND OUT WHY HE LIKES YOU. There’s something about you that fascinates him, magnetizes him, attracts him, enthralls him. There’s a reason why he likes you. Why does he like to be with you and not with some other woman? Ask him nicely, ‘what do you like about me?’ Make sure he tells you something specific. Note it carefully. Don’t take it lightly. This will help you build a place in his heart for you.

3. NOW BUILD THAT AREA OF YOUR LIFE TO ATTRACT HIM THE MORE. If he likes you for your dress sense, then you should focus on it. If he likes you because you are wise, then work on increasing your wisdom level. Make an impression every time you are with him. This will make him want to spend TIME with you. Spending time with you helps to build your emotional bond without pressure.

4. FIND OUT MORE ABOUT WHAT HE LIKES AND EXPAND YOUR AREAS OF INFLUENCE ON HIS MIND. It may have started with your dress sense, then he develops a liking for your conversational or your spiritual intelligence. Improve yourself in these areas.

NOTE: There is something a man is searching for in a woman and contrary to what popular magazines say, it is NOT all about sex. The more time you spend with him, the more you discover what is important to HIM specifically. All men are not the same. What makes him tick? When you discover what is important to him, each time you are with him, FOCUS on this one thing.

AND THE OFFER HE CAN’T REFUSE? Every man wants a good woman. In a man’s mind, a good woman is one who understands him enough to show him the way to his greatness. It’s as simple as that. Let him realize, in very simple terms that you are that woman. If he fails to get married to you, his future may be uncertain. But with you, great possibilities await him in the future. Say it. Show it. Live it. No man can refuse such an offer. However, if he doesn’t make his move, he is not the one for you. Thanks for reading.

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21 WAYS TO SPOT A PLAYA (Singles & Married) Twitter @AndyQwas & Bb Pin @ 2326600E

1. HE BIGS HIMSELF UP A LOT. Men are quite egotistical but men who elevate themselves onto a perch where they can look down at other guys and say how great they are, have mastered the art of being a playa. They make you believe they are better than every other guy out there for you. They make you see the harm you could come to if you were with some of the other guys they know so that they can distract you from what they are doing.

2. A PLAYA IS VERY SECRETIVE: When his/her phone rings or beeps with a text message, do they race for it? Haven’t you asked yourself what they are trying to hide by being shady about taking or receiving calls? Are they always taking calls in another room when you’re there? Would they get angry if you answered the phone? Do they look nervous if you to use their phone? Are they taking calls late at night? You are dating or married to a playa

3. OFF AND ON: Do they disappear for periods of time with little or no explanation? I once had an ex tell me she was going out for an hour and she returned 19 hours later the following day. Guess what? She was promptly dumped.

4. PLAYAS WON'T FOLLOW THE NORMAL PATTERNS OF GETTING YOUR NUMBER AND ASKING YOU OUT. He will call you at unpredictable times or tell you to call him. He will disappear and reappear, not caring about how you feel. He will come up with excuses that don't seem right or just make things up. BE WISE.

5. HE ALWAYS CALLS LATE OR AT A CERTAIN TIME. This person is either juggling different partners or just treating you like a booty call. If you are a booty call, I would advise to sound the alarm bells ring. Something is wrong.

6. FLIRTING: This person FLIRTS with different people but tells you that he or she is just being nice and friendly. They are not. He or she is flirting. If you are In a committed relationship, then stick with your one partner and stop poking your emotions In the wrong places.

7. HE IS SMOOTH, TOO SMOOTH. When a guy knows all the right things to say, the right places to take you to, the right orders to make, the right gifts to give you and seems to never make any mistakes concerning your tastes and your likes, he may just be a playa. For a guy to be that good, he must have had lots of practice. He may tell you that he ‘reads a lot’ and keeps his ears to the ground, he is ‘street wise’, but that may not be the truth. He may be so knowledgeable about the needs of women because he spends a lot of time hanging around women.

8. SEXUAL RUSH: Has this person mentioned sexual stuff even though you barely know them? Let your alarm bells ring out when a guy or a lady approaches you and slip in something sexual, something far too over familiar very early into the conversation. Men that are focused on getting a peek at your vagina rather than getting to know you are playa. They don’t mean you any good!

9. WONDERING EYES: When you talk to this person in a public place, does their eye wander around to other women or men as they walk by? This is a clear sign of disrespect but if it’s a consistent habit, it’s a sign of a person that’s not interested in playing one on one.

10. FRIENDS TO OTHER PLAYA: Do they hang out with lots of playa? If their best friends are other playa, womanizers, sex maniacs, clubbers, men that abuse, cheaters, then the truth is, that’s who they also are. Friends are a revelation of who we are. If you have spoken to them and yet won’t work o changing their friends, then it’s time to cut off what you call a relationship.

11. THEY HAVE SEVERAL CHILDREN BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT PARTNERS. Pay close attention to anyone that has clocked up several children by several different partners. I have seen a lady that has several children from different men. It not only screams irresponsible and drama, it screams playa extraordinaire.

12. THE EX’S KEEP SHOWING UP OR CALLING. This person has a lot of loose ends that he/she clearly hasn’t dealt with or that he or she may not want to deal with because they enjoy the attention. Also be wary of mystery women that show up or call. They can’t all be women that have a silly crush on him that he hasn’t encouraged.

13. BAD IMAGE: The image most ladies have in their minds is this; a man who knows the right things to say, the right things to do and is very smooth. It is every lady’s dream to meet such a man who “UNDERSTANDS ME PERFECTLY”. He knows what I need instinctively. He seems to be able to read my mind. We flow automatically.’ Lady, you just described a playa. How come he knows so much about making a woman feel good and comfortable with him? How did he learn these things? If this guy just seems to know what to do without your telling him, trust me, he’s had lots of practice with many other women. This marks him out as a potential playa.

14. HIS FRIENDS & FAMILY TELL OR HINT TO YOU THAT THIS PERSON IS A PLAYA. These are your social references. Don’t ignore them. If a previous employer of yours that knows you and your work ethic told your next employer that you weren’t suitable, would you expect them to hire you?

15. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY THINK HE’S A PLAYA. Often our friends and family are able to spot the unsuitability of partners but we fail to recognize it and only really listen after we’ve broken up with him.

16. THEY FLIRT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. If this person can’t behave around your nearest and dearest, then they have serious playa issues.

17. HE HASN’T INTRODUCED YOU TO HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY. He is sweet mouthed and just too sweet BUT If you’ve been together for more than 3-6 months, it is particularly odd if you haven’t met his friends. What is he or she hiding? Or who from who is this person hiding?

18. THEY DON’T CALL OR SHOW UP WHEN THEY SAID THEY WOULD: This shows a blatant disrespect for you and your time. When it’s occasional you can let it go, but when it happens consistently, I would question what is preoccupying his time.

19. HE LAVISHES YOU WITH GIFTS TO MAKE UP FOR THE THINGS THAT HE HAS DONE WRONG. I’m not averse to women receiving gifts from men but be careful when he thinks that he can always buy his way out of his wrong doings.

20. HOT & COLD- The person starts off so hot. They tell you , “I can’t wait to see you”, “I can’t believe how wonderful you are,” “I think I love you,” “You’re my soul mate”. But once you give them the sign that they are starting to win you over, they disappear for a few days/weeks without much contact. They have a lot of people they’re stringing along, so they have to conserve energy. Players love the chase, but get bored of the conquered. They are all talk and no action (“we should do this,” “I want to take you here”), but they never follow through.

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HOW TO MAKE HER YOUR WOMAN (FOR SINGLE MEN) Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

1. SHOW YOU CARE FOR HER. It is not what you do occasionally that matters but what you do regularly. It is not enough to say ‘I love you’. Show it.

2. BUY HER GIFTS: Buying her a gift for valentine is good, but buying her a gift for ‘absolutely no reason’ is even better.

3. SPEND TIME WITH HER. What you do WITH her is more important than what you do FOR her. And guys, I am NOT talking about sex. Find creative ways to spend time with her. It works better than giving her money although money is also very important to ‘oil the wheels ‘ of the relationship.

4. SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HER. This may hurt your pride but it will make her your woman. You may be the only person who really listens to her. All other guys just want to get something from her. A woman wants to be heard. Be the man who does that for her all the time.

5. SHARE HER DREAM. Encourage her to reach for the stars. Celebrate her success and ‘push’ her in a healthy way to do more with her talents. GUY, if you do this right, she will give you her heart. “Smiles”.

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WHEN A WOMAN SAYS ‘NO’. (For Single Men) Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb Pin 2326600E

#. When a woman says no, it means that she’s not interested in you. Instead of pushing and hanging around her just to make her change her mind, you should ask yourself the reason why.

#. She may say no because you are not her type. You should go out and look for your type. No matter how hot you think you are, some women will never go on a date with you. You are not God’s gift to all women. Be humble. Go look for your type.

#. She may say no because she is still making up her mind. When it comes to dating, a woman may have several questions she wants answered. You shouldn’t force the process, let her take her time and give you an answer when she’s ready. If she never gets back to you, take it that her answer is no and let it go.

#. When a woman consistently tells you no, you should see it as God saving you from future disaster. Don’t persist in pursuing her. Let her go and be fast about it.

#. Don’t try to change her mind by giving her material things or pouring money on her. If you do, it will be throwing your money away. A lady you buy with your money is not the woman you want to live with for the rest of your life. If you can buy her, so can another man. She should want you for who you are and nothing more.

#. So that we are clear; when a woman says no to any form of sexual advances from you, she means exactly what she says. She means ‘No, don’t touch me, I am not interested in having sex with you, get lost, don’t ever raise this subject again unless I do.’ She is not shy, coy or playing hard to get. She is not interested, Period! Let’s move on.

#. Don’t try to force her in any way to make out with you. Using any form of force is not ‘persuading’ her, it is rape and all RAPISTS are SENSELESS MEN. If you coerce her in any way to make out with you, that is rape even if you and the lady think it isn’t. Now you know how many times you have raped women.

#. Real men don’t coerce women into sex. Real men woo and persuade women.

#. The lady you are in a relationship with is not your property. You don’t own her. When she tells you to stop and go no further, you should listen to her.

#. Don’t use the famous loser’s line: ’If you love me, you should prove it by making out with me.’ She doesn’t have to prove anything to you. In fact being with you after what you just said is a very bad idea. You talk like a ROMANTIC CRIMINAL.

#. When a woman tells you no, you shouldn’t waste your energy pursuing her. Life is too short to be stupid. There are millions of other women out there, surely there’s one among them who will like you for who you are.

#. Don’t get obsessed with her and think that without this particular lady in your life you will be unhappy. This is a lie you should never fall for. There’s a good woman out there who will enhance your life and happiness.  If you like this particular lady but she doesn’t like you, GUY, don’t force it: look elsewhere. Thanks for reading.

Follow me on twitter @AndyQwas and I will gladly follow back.
Share my Bb Pin with your friends 2326600E
Be my friend on Facebook with all pleasure. The name is Andy D-LoveGuru
Also like my facebook fanpage by clicking on the facebook link up right now.
You can also chat with me on whatsapp via +233269745170.
I am De Love Guru, skilled in the art of Love and relationship bliss. Welcome to my world.

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21 WAYS TO SPOT A PLAYA (Singles & Married) Twitter @AndyQwas & Bb Pin @ 2326600E

1. HE BIGS HIMSELF UP A LOT. Men are quite egotistical but men who elevate themselves onto a perch where they can look down at other guys and say how great they are, have mastered the art of being a playa. They make you believe they are better than every other guy out there for you. They make you see the harm you could come to if you were with some of the other guys they know so that they can distract you from what they are doing.

2. A PLAYA IS VERY SECRETIVE: When his/her phone rings or beeps with a text message, do they race for it? Haven’t you asked yourself what they are trying to hide by being shady about taking or receiving calls? Are they always taking calls in another room when you’re there? Would they get angry if you answered the phone? Do they look nervous if you to use their phone? Are they taking calls late at night? You are dating or married to a playa

3. OFF AND ON: Do they disappear for periods of time with little or no explanation? I once had an ex tell me she was going out for an hour and she returned 19 hours later the following day. Guess what? She was promptly dumped.

4. PLAYAS WON'T FOLLOW THE NORMAL PATTERNS OF GETTING YOUR NUMBER AND ASKING YOU OUT. He will call you at unpredictable times or tell you to call him. He will disappear and reappear, not caring about how you feel. He will come up with excuses that don't seem right or just make things up. BE WISE.

5. HE ALWAYS CALLS LATE OR AT A CERTAIN TIME. This person is either juggling different partners or just treating you like a booty call. If you are a booty call, I would advise to sound the alarm bell. Something is wrong.

6. FLIRTING: This person FLIRTS with different people but tells you that they are just being nice and friendly. They are not. He or she is flirting. If you are In a committed relationship, then stick with your one partner and stop poking your emotions In the wrong places.

7. HE IS SMOOTH, TOO SMOOTH. When a guy knows all the right things to say, the right places to take you to, the right orders to make, the right gifts to give you and seems to never make any mistakes concerning your tastes and your likes, he may just be a playa. For a guy to be that good, he must have had lots of practice. He may tell you that he ‘reads a lot’ and keeps his ears to the ground, he is ‘street wise’, but that may not be the truth. He may be so knowledgeable about the needs of women because he spends a lot of time hanging around women.

8. SEXUAL RUSH: Has this person mentioned sexual stuff even though you barely know them? Let your alarm bells ring out when a guy or a lady approaches you and slip in something sexual, something far too over familiar very early into the conversation. Men that are focused on getting a peek at your vagina rather than getting to know you are playas. They don’t mean you any good!

9. WONDERING EYES: When you talk to this person in a public place, does their eye wander around to other women or men as they walk by? This is a clear sign of a player syndrom and if it’s a consistent habit, it’s a sign of a person that’s not interested in playing one on one.

10. FRIENDS TO OTHER PLAYA: Do they hang out with lots of playa friends? If their best friends are other playa, womanizers, sex maniacs, clubbers, men that abuse, cheaters, then the truth is, that’s who they also are. Our friends are a revelation of who we are. If you have spoken to them and yet won’t work o changing their friends, then it’s time to cut off what you call a relationship.

11. THEY HAVE SEVERAL CHILDREN BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT PARTNERS. Pay close attention to anyone that has clocked up several children by several different partners. I have seen a lady that has several children from different men. It not only screams irresponsible and drama, it screams playa extraordinaire.

12. THE EX’S KEEP SHOWING UP OR CALLING. This person has a lot of loose ends that he/she clearly hasn’t dealt with or that he or she may not want to deal with because they enjoy the attention. Also be wary of mystery women that show up or call. They can’t all be women that have a silly crush on him that he hasn’t encouraged.

13. BAD IMAGE: The image most ladies have in their minds is this; a man who knows the right things to say, the right things to do and is very smooth. It is every lady’s dream to meet such a man who “UNDERSTANDS ME PERFECTLY”. He knows what I need instinctively. He seems to be able to read my mind. We flow automatically.’ Lady, you just described a playa. How come he knows so much about making a woman feel good and comfortable with him? How did he learn these things? If this guy just seems to know what to do without your telling him, trust me, he’s had lots of practice with many other women. This marks him out as a potential playa.

14. HIS FRIENDS & FAMILY TELL OR HINT TO YOU THAT THIS PERSON IS A PLAYA. These are your social references. Don’t ignore them. If a previous employer of yours that knows you and your work ethic told your next employer that you weren’t suitable, would you expect them to hire you?

15. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY THINK HE’S A PLAYA. Often our friends and family are able to spot the unsuitability of partners but we always fail to recognize it and only really listen after we’ve broken up with them.

16. THEY FLIRT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. If this person can’t behave around your nearest and dearest, then they have serious playa issues.

17. HE HASN’T INTRODUCED YOU TO HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY. He is sweet mouthed and just too sweet BUT If you’ve been together for more than 3-6 months, it is particularly odd if you haven’t met his friends. What is he or she hiding? Or from who is this person hiding?

18. THEY DON’T CALL OR SHOW UP WHEN THEY SAID THEY WOULD: This shows a blatant disrespect for you and your time. When it’s occasional you can let it go, but when it happens consistently, I would question what is preoccupying his time.

19. HE LAVISHES YOU WITH GIFTS TO MAKE UP FOR THE THINGS THAT HE HAS DONE WRONG. I’m not averse to women receiving gifts from men but be careful when he thinks that he can always buy his way out of his wrong doings.

20. HOT & COLD- The person starts off so hot. They tell you , “I can’t wait to see you”, “I can’t believe how wonderful you are,” “I think I love you,” “You’re my soul mate”. But once you give them the sign that they are starting to win you over, they disappear for a few days/weeks without much contact. They have a lot of people they’re stringing along, so they have to conserve energy. Players love the chase, but get bored of the conquered. They are all talk and no action (“we should do this,” “I want to take you here”), but they never follow through.

Follow me on twitter @AndyQwas and I will gladly follow back.
Share my Bb Pin with your friends 2326600E
Be my friend on Facebook with all pleasure. The name is Andy D-LoveGuru
Also like my facebook fan page by clicking on the facebook link up right now.
You can also chat with me on whatsapp via +233269745170.
I am De Love Guru, skilled in the art of Love and relationship bliss. Welcome to my world.

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IF YOU NOT HIS WIFE, THEN STOP ACTING LIKE ONE. Twitter @AndyQwas. Bb 2326600E (Single Ladies Only)

1. Some ladies think that acting like a wife will automatically persuade the guy to put the ring on their finger. That is faulty thinking and could lead you into big problems emotional problems.

2. Just so we are clear, until he puts the ring on your finger, you are NOT, I repeat, not, his wife. You go everywhere together,  hold hands, kiss in public, he introduces you to his friends as ‘my wife’, all that is nonsense until he puts a legal ring on your finger.

3. You are dating him, that doesn’t give him the right to demand wife duties from you. Dating and marriage are totally different things. Even if he is engaged to you, that doesn’t give him the right to demand wife duties from you.

4. Some men demand that you cook for them, organise their apartment and give them sex to prove that you are a good wife material. Don’t you fall for that crap. Any man who tells you that wants to use and dump you. And, DON’T move in with him because that will automatically make you his ‘in-house-mistress’ who will perform all his wife duties for him without the commitment of marriage.

5. You don’t have to submit to him until he puts that ring on your finger. Some men demand that you should submit to them because you are dating. If he wants you to submit to him when you are not dating, just think of what he would do to you if you are married to him.

6. Don’t give him your money unless you are sure that you will get it back. If you give him your money because he is a ‘potential husband’, you can kiss that money goodbye because you may never see it again.

7. Stop giving him your body like a whore. Anytime he wants sex, he calls you up, yet he hasn’t put the ring on your finger. Giving him sex is counter productive. Your objective is to get married to him, not to warm his bed. Pretending to be his wife by giving him sex will not make him put that ring on your finger.

8. It is not complex: if he wants you to perform wife duties for him like cooking, organising his life, sex and all other wife duties, tell him to take you to his family and organise a marriage.Stop being foolish. If he really loves you as he whispers in your ears, he should take you to the marriage registry.

9. If he gets all the wife duties from you for free, why on earth do you think that he will make you his wife? If he is not ready to make a life commitment to you, he doesn’t deserve any wife benefits.

10. Protect yourself from emotional and sexual abuse. Stop giving this man what he doesn’t deserve. If he is not willing to honour you by putting that ring on your finger, then he is not worthy to receive wife benefits from you. When you become his wife, then he will get treated like a husband.

Follow me on twitter @AndyQwas and I will gladly follow back
Share my Bb Pin with your friends 2326600E
Be my friend on Facebook with all pleasure. The name is Andy D-LoveGuru
Also like my facebook page by clicking on the facebook link up right now.
You can also chat with me on whatsapp via +233269745170.
I am De Love Guru, skilled in the art of Love and relationship bliss. Welcome to my world.

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