INTRODUCTION: When
you think a relationship should be
a certain way, and yours isn't, frustration sets in. And frustration is
the number one thing that eats away at a relationship and it's directly
tied to myths. There are hundreds of myths about relationships. The
problem with persistent myths is that they can erode a relationship's happiness.
That's why it's so critical to bust the 7 below misconceptions. So without
further ado, here are 7 myths about relationships that might surprise you.
1.
MYTH: A GOOD RELATIONSHIP MEANS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK AT IT.
FACT: The
strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work. A healthy
relationship is like a good garden. It's a beautiful thing but you
wouldn't expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labor and TLC (Tender
Loving Care). But here are 2 signs you to show you're working too hard on a relationship?
SIGN #1: Feeling unhappy more than you're happy. In other words,
are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat
than enjoying it? This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like
the "normal state of affairs”.
SIGN
#2: Another bad sign is if you're trying
hard to make improvements and changes, but you don't see the same level of
effort on your partner's part. There has to be some sense of 'we're
trying really hard, both making changes and that's making a difference. But if
both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least
some of the time, then that's a good sign.
2.
MYTH: IF PARTNERS REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NEEDS AND
FEELINGS.
FACT: It's a
setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind because when you
anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that's essentially what
you're doing. But you are always responsible for communicating our feelings and
needs. Stop expecting your partner to be a mind reader.
3. MYTH: IF YOU'RE TRULY IN LOVE, THE PASSION WILL NEVER
FADE.
FACT: We often assume
that if we genuinely love someone, "the passion, urging and loving"
never go away. And if they do disappear, then "it must not be the right
relationship" or "our relationship [must be]. But that’s a lie.
Passion will naturally diminishes in all relationships and daily routines are
one of the culprits. As your responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples usually
have less and less time and energy for each other.
But
this doesn't mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and
playfulness, you can boost passion.
4.
MYTH: HAVING A CHILD WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE.
FACT: Studies have
shown that
relationship
happiness actually decreases with every
child. This doesn't mean that you start loving each other less or that you
won't bond at all over your child, but the mounting challenges can complicate
relationships.
Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves
for their new roles. When you think that a child will improve your
relationship, it only adds to the complications. I recommended planning ahead
and talking about the changes that will occur when you have your first child or
more kids.
5.
MYTH: JEALOUSY IS A SIGN OF TRUE LOVE AND CARING.
FACT: Jealousy is
more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship
or the lack thereof. While you can be supportive, your partner must work on
their insecurity issues on their own. No matter what you do, you can't
make your partner feel more secure" or "change their self-confidence.
Jealousy is not a sign of true Love in a relationship.
6.
MYTH: FIGHTS RUIN RELATIONSHIPS.
FACT: In actuality,
what ruins relationship is not resolving your fights and not the fight itself. Fights can be
really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air.
Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not
surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples
resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive
conflicts that help the relationship end with "some mutual decision about
how to manage this disagreement.
7.
MYTH: IN ORDER FOR THE RELATIONSHIP TO BE SUCCESSFUL, THE OTHER PARTNER MUST
CHANGE.
FACT: Many times
we're very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can
become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such
changes. Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity,
it takes two to make changes. But even more than that, it's up to you to figure
out what you can do to make the relationship a better one. It's a profound mental shift to look at what can you do and what changes can you make.
FINAL CONCLUSION: Have you started
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I am De Love Guru, skilled in the art of Love and
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