Two couples once wrote to me and said their marriages are collapsing along with the economy. Nkem and her husband, Walter, are coping with mounting debt while Joyce says she's tired of being the sole provider in her household while her husband, Leonard, depends on his faith to see them through. How do you pull a relationship through a tough time? (Couples names used with permission). Here are 6 suggestions.
1) ACKNOWLEDGE AND WORK THE PROBLEM: When the heat is on, don't take your anger out on your spouse. "You get in trouble, you get pressure on you, and what you do is called reflexive biting. You start snapping at the person around you, and you begin to feel isolated and alone. You've got to turn to your partner and say, 'Look, we're in a bad spot here, and we're going to deal with this together.
2) IDENTIFY THE STRESSORS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP: As the nation experiences an economic downturn, remember the problem is not your partner, but high interest rates, accumulating debt and looming unemployment. "Aim your guns in the right place. Once you have identified the issues, work together to find viable solutions.
3) HAVE EMOTIONAL INTEGRITY: Effective communication begins with honesty. "If you say you're going to look for a job in earnest, then look for a job. Don't say it if you don't mean it." Be open to receiving input from your partner even at the expense of your ego.
4) BE WILLING TO ASK FOR HELP: "Think about yourself as being at the bottom of a steep hill, and you're trying to pull a wagon up to the top of the hill. If you're both pulling it up the hill, you're going to get there. If one of you is pulling left and one of you is puling right, you're expending a lot of energy, and the wagon's not moving at all. Don't be afraid to admit that you can't manage the household debt alone, or that you're getting in over your head with credit cards.
5) LIST PRIORITIES, VALUES AND GOALS: It's not all about money. Both of you need to sit down and talk. List down your priorities, your values and goals and then plan along these lines. Make a plan. Find a way that the values of both partners can be honored. "It's like two corporations merging, and you need to have a board meeting.
6) HAVE AN ACTION PLAN: Dreams can motivate you to strive for the stars, but sometimes, you have to get your head out of the clouds. "The difference between a dream and a plan is a timeline. You've got to do checkups on yourself and ask, 'Am I moving forward? Devise a realistic schedule that you and your spouse can get excited about.
7. Share your experience with us. How did you pull through your own tough time. This is point number 7. Thanks for reading and please tell someome about my blog. Have you started following me on twitter? I told you I will gladly follow back. My twitter handle is @AndyQwas.
Have you ever shared my Bb Pin 2326600E with your friends?
Be my friend on Facebook with all pleasure. The name is Andy D-LoveGuru
Also like my facebook page by clicking on the facebook link up right now.
You can also chat with me on whatsapp via +233269745170.
I am De Love Guru, skilled in the art of Love and relationship bliss. Welcome to my world.
0 comments:
Post a Comment